What I Look for in a Lady

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There’s probably some other important things to look for in a lady (like integrity and if you can both speak a common language), but here’s my list of top three qualities: 

Attraction. Like Emma Stone and Spiderman, I want us to be a couple who is drawn to each other: both physically and personality–wise. I’m gonna have to find her interesting, compelling, and cute, and she’s gonna have to do the same for me! …Aren’t they just perfect for each other?

Fun. We need to enjoy being silly around each other and laughing together. I’m talking tickle fights, burping contests, and talking in accents together (just to name a few examples). Life and relationships are both better with an extra scoop of LOLs on top. 

Challenging. Ok, now try to get that dancing image out of your head, because here comes the serious part. We need to be people who constantly challenge and inspire each other. We need to both be willing to confront each other and initiate hard conversations together. Facing challenges is the only way to grow both as an individual and as a couple. 

And that’s it! You can go on back to watching them dance.

image from: andrewgarfieldisawesome.tumblr.com

Why Being Single in Your Twenties is SWANK

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At 25, a lot of my friends are already married, and the ones who aren’t yet seem to be in a frenzy about getting their knot tied. To all you chickens running around with your head cut off: chillax—I know it feels like you’re running out of time to find someone, but hear me out, here:

You’re not running out of time to find someone—you’re actually running out of time to be single. 

Your limited amount of time with complete freedom is running out, and you should take advantage of that while you still can. Now’s the time to do you. Try new things. Experiment. Date. Take risks. Travel the world. Heck, you could even move to a new city and open a thrift shop. As a twenty-something, you have complete freedom, and as a single, you have no one to be responsible for except yourself. This is a unique circumstance that will disappear forever once you get married, have kids, or turn 30. (Just kidding about the last one.)

You have the rest of your life to be married, so now’s the time to get out there and find out who you are as an individual and who you want to be. 

A Serial Killer’s Answers to Life’s Big Questions

The reason why I’m a Dexter fan is because it resonates so deeply with the human experience. (I promise I’m not a serial killer—the series actually has a lot to say about some of life’s deepest questions: morality, identity, and intimacy.)

Morality: The entire premise of the show proposes a moral dilemma as the protagonist uses murder to “help society” dispose of other murderers. Thanks, Dex. Maybe things aren’t always as black and white as society makes them seem. 

Identity: Despite the methodical sneaking out at night to kill people, Dexter actually finds a surprising amount of goodwill living inside of him. It seems that even the “worst” of people can have a good side, and vice versa. Working out your own identity can be a real struggle when you have both good and evil living inside of you and trying to get out.

Intimacy: Being vulnerable and opening up to people can be difficult—especially when you have a lot of skeletons in your closet. As human beings, we all feel a certain level of emptiness and crave intimacy and connection with other people. Dexter is no exception, yet he remains unwilling to step out from behind his mask in order to preserve his unconventional lifestyle. His strategy for avoiding rejection is to isolate himself. Sometimes our biggest obstacles are ourselves.  

Living Life Instead of Stressing About It

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When people ask themselves “What should I do with my life?” they become paralyzed—and rightfully so—because getting that question wrong would be an epic disaster.

It saddens me to see people paralyzed by this question because the thing that has always provided me the most answers has been moving forward

We get scared because there are so many possible directions in which we could live our lives, but we shouldn’t let that intimidate us… because every step we take brings us one step closer to our final destination. Sometimes it takes years of traveling down the wrong path to finally realize which path we want to be on. As we explore deeper and deeper into the wilderness of life, we learn more and more about who we are and what we desire.